Some Scars Never Heal

Now that I am drawing this chapter of college to a close, I am beginning to reflect on my past experiences. I truly believe that some people can suffer PTSD without really knowing that they are suffering.

Its weird. You think that you are over something, but then it can be one incident, or event, or situation that can bring you back to that horrible place that you have tried so hard to move on from. Lately I have been asking myself the question, Am I over it? I mean, how do you know that you are over something? I wish I knew.

Then I start to think of the woman that I have become. Many of the experiences that I had have contributed to the woman I am today. At the end of the day I cherish those experiences, no matter how traumatic.

Maybe no matter how much I "get over" situations, they may still leave marks on my heart and scalded into my brain. I have been wearing my scars in the open for the last three years and have been acting as if they do not bother me, when truth is, I was ashamed of them. The marks, and everyone could see it. I spent time rubbing ointments of denial and anger on them, hoping they went away,and they didn't. Maybe they aren't meant to leave. Maybe they're meant to stay. Maybe I'm supposed to learn from them...

I'm not proud of my scars, but I am definitely becoming more and more comfortable in my skin...